Thanks, Harriet, for the very informative article. I knew never to give chrysanthemums as a gift in France. As in Spain (where I have lived and have cousins) they are strictly for cemeteries. I didn't know that carnations are considered bad luck in France, however. The red carnation is Spain's national flower. It symbolizes deep love and affection. They are my birth month flower (January) and my favorites--colorful and long lasting. Fortunately, when visiting friends in Paris I always take boxes of See's chocolates--truffles (made only in California--my home state) which they LOVE.
I loved this! I ended up learning a lot of these rules the hard way from my study abroad host family. At least in my host family, there was a rule about never serving yourself water. They always had their son serve me and the other host student. Now that I live in Paris again, I've noticed it with some friends, but it doesn't seem to be as much of rule.
Thank you again for an informative post! I did not know about carnations. On my recent trip to France I was actually invited to stay in a French home - new to me and I made sure it was someone with whom I felt very comfortable. And I knew I had to take a gift. I settled on fragrant soap, chocolate, and (these actually were a hit) fuzzy socks with a cheetah print!
I love reading your posts Harriet, you are the memory of our family. Thank you for the reminder concerning the rules, we missed some of them by living abroad for many years. I’m happy to come back to practice them again.
This is wonderful. Loved it in French Toast, and love it here. Over the years, I've done most of the don'ts and managed to survive--as in been invited back. Thankfully, the people I know are kind, generous, tolerant, and forgiving. They also laugh a lot at what I do and don't do and don't know.... Great photo.
Thanks Audrey. Ah, that rule about not serving yourself water - or wine. Some of the French have loosened up quite a bit on that and other rules but still...in many milieux it is just one of those things that isn't done. Glad you enjoyed the article.
Sounds like you found just the right gifts! I probably should have explained in the article that I am referring to a very special kind of Parisian dinner . You are invited by someone you know, who is perhaips a colleague or "at a remove" and there will be people you don't know. That's where the "rules" come in. In a more friendly and ess "social" setting, one is more free. Glad the fuzzy socks were a hit!
Thanks, Sophie. What's fun about this is that you know the people I am writing about and can imagine the scenes I describe. Can't wait until you all are back in France (not only so you can practice some of those rules!). Bonnes fêtes de fin d'année!
Thanks, Mark. Glad you enjoyed it - for the second time! It was fun to re-write and see how these table manners haven't changed. Kind of reassuring in the instable world we live in! All best wishes for the New Year!
Hi Jacqueline, Glad you enjoyed the article. Of course you can wish a bon appétit to your guests when in the States. What I am saying is that in France it's...dicey. In more than 50 years of living here, have never been to a meal in France where anyone said Bon Appétit - except visiting Americans. Granted, there may be places where it is done. I will let you know if I find some! In the meantime, thanks for writing. It's always good to hear from you.
As always a great article. And while I still follow Philippe’s method of washing lettuce 9 times, I simply can’t get in board with no bon appétit. I love the idea of wishing everyone a delicious meal to savor
Ah yes, I bet See's chocolates are a big hit. Glad you enjoyed the article.
Thanks, Harriet, for the very informative article. I knew never to give chrysanthemums as a gift in France. As in Spain (where I have lived and have cousins) they are strictly for cemeteries. I didn't know that carnations are considered bad luck in France, however. The red carnation is Spain's national flower. It symbolizes deep love and affection. They are my birth month flower (January) and my favorites--colorful and long lasting. Fortunately, when visiting friends in Paris I always take boxes of See's chocolates--truffles (made only in California--my home state) which they LOVE.
I loved this! I ended up learning a lot of these rules the hard way from my study abroad host family. At least in my host family, there was a rule about never serving yourself water. They always had their son serve me and the other host student. Now that I live in Paris again, I've noticed it with some friends, but it doesn't seem to be as much of rule.
Thank you again for an informative post! I did not know about carnations. On my recent trip to France I was actually invited to stay in a French home - new to me and I made sure it was someone with whom I felt very comfortable. And I knew I had to take a gift. I settled on fragrant soap, chocolate, and (these actually were a hit) fuzzy socks with a cheetah print!
And I thought of you as I donned my aunt‘s favorite Christmas apron for our New Year’s coffee!
Love it!
Harriet, so useful and funny! Thanks. Glad to be a subscriber.
Maggie
I love reading your posts Harriet, you are the memory of our family. Thank you for the reminder concerning the rules, we missed some of them by living abroad for many years. I’m happy to come back to practice them again.
This is wonderful. Loved it in French Toast, and love it here. Over the years, I've done most of the don'ts and managed to survive--as in been invited back. Thankfully, the people I know are kind, generous, tolerant, and forgiving. They also laugh a lot at what I do and don't do and don't know.... Great photo.
Lovely, Harriet!
Thanks Audrey. Ah, that rule about not serving yourself water - or wine. Some of the French have loosened up quite a bit on that and other rules but still...in many milieux it is just one of those things that isn't done. Glad you enjoyed the article.
Sounds like you found just the right gifts! I probably should have explained in the article that I am referring to a very special kind of Parisian dinner . You are invited by someone you know, who is perhaips a colleague or "at a remove" and there will be people you don't know. That's where the "rules" come in. In a more friendly and ess "social" setting, one is more free. Glad the fuzzy socks were a hit!
Glad you're on board, Maggie! Thanks for your positive feedback!
Thanks, Sophie. What's fun about this is that you know the people I am writing about and can imagine the scenes I describe. Can't wait until you all are back in France (not only so you can practice some of those rules!). Bonnes fêtes de fin d'année!
Thanks, Mark. Glad you enjoyed it - for the second time! It was fun to re-write and see how these table manners haven't changed. Kind of reassuring in the instable world we live in! All best wishes for the New Year!
Hi Jacqueline, Glad you enjoyed the article. Of course you can wish a bon appétit to your guests when in the States. What I am saying is that in France it's...dicey. In more than 50 years of living here, have never been to a meal in France where anyone said Bon Appétit - except visiting Americans. Granted, there may be places where it is done. I will let you know if I find some! In the meantime, thanks for writing. It's always good to hear from you.
Wonderful article, Harriet! As usual, your observations are spot-on.
As always a great article. And while I still follow Philippe’s method of washing lettuce 9 times, I simply can’t get in board with no bon appétit. I love the idea of wishing everyone a delicious meal to savor