I set this aside to read when I could truly relish it. Yes, I wish Americans understood these qualities better, and it is part of what draws me to France. Thank you for your explanation and obvious enjoyment of French culture! I will look forward to those moments when French people say something a little offputting with a twinkle in their eye!
Thank you, Janis. Having lived in France for so long in a French-speaking environment (husband, children, in-laws, friends), I have been able to observe and figure out (mostly) some of the cultural differences that so surprised me in the beginning. It took a lot of time and a big dose of humor. So yes, do look for that twinkle in their eye when French people start putting you on!
Yes! I finally figured out that this French love of debate was impersonal by watching the twinkle in a French friend's eyes when he needled me and another American woman about our places in society and, of course, about 21st century politics. At least I thought he was needling us. But after having the same experience year after year during our late spring visits to Paris back in the teens, I finally got it: He was really having a lot of fun and wanted us to join in! (He kindly spoke English with us, so I'm sure we missed a lot of nuance.) So much better than friendship-breaking anger!
So you got it! I think the French are unique in this but so misunderstood. I know that it took me a long time to figure out that needling was just a way of inviting the interlocutor to join in the discussion and have fun. We "Anglos" are too prone to black and white. Thanks for your sharing your (ultimately positive!)French experience.
I set this aside to read when I could truly relish it. Yes, I wish Americans understood these qualities better, and it is part of what draws me to France. Thank you for your explanation and obvious enjoyment of French culture! I will look forward to those moments when French people say something a little offputting with a twinkle in their eye!
Thank you, Janis. Having lived in France for so long in a French-speaking environment (husband, children, in-laws, friends), I have been able to observe and figure out (mostly) some of the cultural differences that so surprised me in the beginning. It took a lot of time and a big dose of humor. So yes, do look for that twinkle in their eye when French people start putting you on!
Yes! I finally figured out that this French love of debate was impersonal by watching the twinkle in a French friend's eyes when he needled me and another American woman about our places in society and, of course, about 21st century politics. At least I thought he was needling us. But after having the same experience year after year during our late spring visits to Paris back in the teens, I finally got it: He was really having a lot of fun and wanted us to join in! (He kindly spoke English with us, so I'm sure we missed a lot of nuance.) So much better than friendship-breaking anger!
So you got it! I think the French are unique in this but so misunderstood. I know that it took me a long time to figure out that needling was just a way of inviting the interlocutor to join in the discussion and have fun. We "Anglos" are too prone to black and white. Thanks for your sharing your (ultimately positive!)French experience.
You & Philippe could do a two-person traveling show in the States, demonstrating all the above!
Great idea!